Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.





Pengor
Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Sunday, January 02, 2005

 

Crappy New Year

Hogmanay spent honking rich, brown, fish-flavoured vomit into the gutter as payment for my wanton excesses.

My wife, the lovely Gloria Fishfinger, is no longer on speaking terms with me, and has taken young Leonid and The Egg "back to mother's" until I sober up.

Does she not understand that the leadership of a successful group of avian freedom fighters HAS to get outrageously drunk and flirt with other penguins on a regular basis? He have to maintain our connections with the feathered proletariat somehow, and this means many a late night session where our comrades hang out. Pubs. Bars. Strip joints.

Little known fact: the October Revolution in Russia was hatched in a St Petersburg pole-dancing club called "Natasha's".

One morning, The Glorious Day will dawn, and the country will have drunken, naked floozies to thank for it. You mark my words.

posted by Pengor at Sunday, January 02, 2005
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