Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.

Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Thursday, August 12, 2004



If you want to get in the world these days, you've got to buy a football team. That rich geezer bought Chelsea as a front for his plan to take over the world with evil robot footie stars, and by God, we at the Penguin Liberation Army (Officials) are going to do the same.

Bit of a problem with the budget, mind. Chelsea bloke's got trillions from his oil, gas and aluminium empire, while all we've got is the contents of the bins behind Mac Fisheries, which the lovely, if ballooning Gloria Fishfinger is slowly working her way through.

Still, with our investment of 37p and as many fish heads as they can eat, there's no reason why St Winifird's School Choir Girls XI can't be up there with your Tottenham and Hove Uniteds and Manchester Wednesdays any time now.

Big match on Saturday against Dorchester County Hospital Children's Ward IX (two of them cried off with rabies, the wimps) in which I've picked myself to play up front in the Thierry Henry role. Only with fishs. And decidedly more talent, if you ask me.

posted by Pengor at Thursday, August 12, 2004
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