Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.





Pengor
Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

 

Miserable Git

And crabs! Which damn fool invented crabs? Are you supposed to eat them or use them as spanners? And Tiger Sharks, a penguin's just not safe anywhere these days without fear and loathing waiting behind every corner.

As you can tell, the War of Penguin Liberation is not going at all well. A new approach is needed after my Gun That Turns Enemies into Fishs was confiscated by The Man. So we have devised Operation Blackmail.

Simple. We send a fish to famous celebrity types - Royal Mail, second clas, giving them plenty of time to go off - and we keep sending them until they give us all their money and/or the keys to their Ferrari. First target: TV's Kirstie Allsopp - we have to go for the big players first or this whole thing'll be a washout.

posted by Pengor at Thursday, July 15, 2004
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