Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.





Pengor
Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Monday, May 31, 2004

 

On Shellfish

Oysters. Now they're funny, aren't they? Speaking as a penguin, I'm not averse to a nice bit of fish, preferably deep-fried with a nice portion of chips. And a pickled onion. But oysters, what the blummin' hell are they about then?

Peck as hard as you like and you can't get them open. With the tragic lack of opposable thumbs, I can't work a tin opener, even if the buggers evolved one on the side of their shell. And when you do get them open, what do you get? Some horrible slimy stuff that looks like ladies' parts. What a rip-off.

Cockles.

Whelks.

And don't get me started on crabs, the vicious bastards.

posted by Pengor at Monday, May 31, 2004
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