Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.

Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Friday, March 28, 2003


"The Penguin Army Needs YOU!"

Greetings, puny humans. Honestly, I don't know why I bother sometimes. I spent the day at London Zoo trying to convert my penguin brethren into the cause of Penguin Liberation. But did they listen? Did they, my big fat feathery butt.

I stood on the wall of their pitifully small enclosure and let them have my best stirring speech that nice Mr Marx wrote for me:

"Penguins of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"

And what did I get in return? "Bugger off Beaky, it's nearly feeding time." The bloody ingrates, they've suckled at the big fat wobbly breast of human opproession and now they don't want to leave. If they want to continue eating out of a bucket, that's fine by me. They'll be the first collaborators against the wall come the glorious day. In a world ruled by penguins (ie me), it will always be feeding time. Sprats, salmon, sea bass, the bloody entrails of their former keepers, cod and chips. It'll be heaven, just as long as those bastard puffins keep their stupid little beaks out of it.

Puffins. Just don't get me started on sodding Puffins.

Keeps your beaks up, penguin comrades. The glorious day is at hand. Or flipper. Flipper.

posted by Pengor at Friday, March 28, 2003
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