Pengor: Penguin of Doom

Greetings puny humans. You are reading the day-to-day account of one super-intelligent penguin's attempts to take over the world and free the oppressed penguin masses. Penguin Liberation or death! Send more money and fish.





Pengor
Penguin Liberation:
It's not just about fish

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Thursday, March 27, 2003

 

Is this thing on yet?

Greetings, puny humans. This is the voice of the Penguin Liberation Front (Officials), speaking to you from a secret location somewhere in the south of England. I'll be perfectly frank here. Either you do as I say, or I'll be forced to unleash my penguin hoardes (total number six, but, hey, we're recruiting) to take over the world and crush you all under the flipper of penguin rule.

So, you've got a week to do the following:

* Send fish
* Dismantle the entire apparatus of the United Nations and replace it with a system of world governance ruled by penguins (ie me)
* A total ban on penguins wearing bow-ties
* Send more fish
* Free bus passes and air travel for flightless birds
* That patronising bastard David Attenborough to be tried as a war criminal
* The immediate plucking and roasting of my arch-nemesis Scaryduck in a delicate orange sauce.
* Oh, and did I mention the fish?

Hop to it. The clock is ticking.

posted by Pengor at Thursday, March 27, 2003
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